Help & how-tos

Short answers and quick clips for the things people ask most.

Day to day

The small motions you'll use most.

Most asked

How do I get something out of my head?

Tap the + button on any main tab — Home, Today, Routines, or Plan — to open Quick Capture. Pick what kind of thing it is: Today (a one-off for today, dropped into a time block), Task (under an existing routine), Open tab (something you're still figuring out), or Coming up (a heads-up for later). Type the details, save. Quick Capture is how the invisible load stops running in the background; set it down once, and your brain can stop holding it.

How do I add a task under a routine?

First, the routine has to be set up to hold tasks. From the Routines tab, tap into the routine you want and toggle Enable task list. Once it's enabled, three ways in: tap the routine on Today to open its shortlist and add tasks in context, go to PlanTasks for the full cross-routine list, or drop one in on the fly via the + button on any main tab. Tasks live with their recurring routine, so you see them right when you're working in that block.

How do I mark a routine done?

On Today, swipe a routine all the way to the right to clear it. Tap Show completed at the bottom to see completed routines; tap any cleared card to restore it. Completion is optional; some people like the satisfaction, others ignore it entirely.

Open Today

How do I swap who's doing it today?

On Today, do a short swipe to the right on a routine to reveal Swap owner; tap it to flip the owner for the day. The change applies to that date only; tomorrow snaps back to your usual rhythm. Use this when one of you is sick, traveling, or just covering for the other.

How do I skip or move a routine to a different time block?

On Today, do a short swipe to the left on a routine to reveal Skip and Move. Tap Skip to drop it from today entirely (the routine still happens on its other days). Tap Move to pick a different block today or push it to tomorrow (same block). Like swapping owners, both are one-day changes; the day after goes back to your usual rhythm. Note: if it's a daily routine that already lives on tomorrow, pushing it just skips today (no duplicate added).

How do I add something to my day?

Most things you put on a day are one-off to-dos you decide on the fly: defrost the chicken, set out clothes, return library books. Tap the + on any tab, pick Today, name it, pick a time block. It lands on your day view in that block and clears when the day's done. For day-shaping events that aren't just to-dos — appointments, parties — tap Add Event at the top of Today; those also surface on your Home week view.

Open Today

Plan ahead

What turns the week from reactive to intentional.

How do I track things I'm still figuring out?

Open PlanOpen Tabs. This is the shared list for the half-formed wonderings that aren't tasks yet. Switch pediatricians? Bigger car? Add them as they come up, talk through them at planning, resolve when ready. You can also drop one in on the fly via the + button on any main tab.

Open Tabs

How does the weekly planning ritual work?

On Sundays, the Plan tab walks you and your partner through ten minutes. Looking Ahead surfaces what's coming up this week, monthly-or-longer routines that are due, and whether you've blocked enough time for the bigger task lists. Open Tabs is the moment to talk through what you've been holding without an answer yet. A final week-ahead review makes sure you're both on the same page: who owns what, what to expect, where to flex. Ten quiet minutes to tend the week, together or async, whatever fits.

Open Plan

How do I see and manage all my tasks?

Open PlanTasks. Every task you've added under a container routine (Family admin, Meals, etc.) lives here, grouped by ASAP and by month. Tap a task to edit it, mark it ASAP, set a month, set it to recurring (monthly, quarterly, etc) or check it done. Filter by container to focus on one area. The same tasks also surface on Today inside their routine's shortlist. This is the wider view.

Open Tasks

Make it yours

The pieces that shape your setup. Adjust as needed; nothing is permanent.

How do I add routines?

Open the Routines tab. Tap Add to pull from the core library (bedtime, meals, daycare drop-off, and so on) or write a custom one. Set how often it happens; anything monthly or longer skips your weekly rhythm and gets surfaced during planning sessions instead. Add small things too: the ones you already do without thinking.

Open Routines

How do I review who owns what?

Tap Ownership from the Routines tab. Step through each routine and pick who handles it: you, your partner, shared, or someday (things you'd like to do but aren't doing yet). A running tally shows the count for each as you go. Do this together, or set it up solo and let your partner review your first pass when they join.

Open Ownership

How do I set up my week?

From the Routines tab, tap Rhythm. Adjust the time blocks, then place routines into them. Two ways to place: tap Bulk Place at the top to walk through your daily, weekday, and weekly routines all at once, or tap into any time block to add routines block by block. Nothing is permanent. This is a starting shape, not a contract.

Open Weekly Rhythm

How do I invite my partner?

SettingsInvite Partner generates a short code. Send it to them however you like (text, email). When they sign in and enter the code, your two accounts share one household: same week, same ownership, same notes.

Open Settings

How do I see my routines in my calendar?

SettingsCalendar feed lets you generate a private iCal URL. Pick which routines to include, set a duration for each, and copy the link. Subscribe to it in Apple Calendar, Google Calendar, or anywhere that takes an iCal feed. Your week shows up alongside your other events, refreshing on its own.

Open Settings

Install as an app

How do I install Tender Years as an app?

On iPhone: open thetenderyears.com in Safari, tap Share, then Add to Home Screen.

On Android: open thetenderyears.com in Chrome, tap the menu, then Add to Home screen, then tap Install in the dialog that appears.

On Mac or Windows: open thetenderyears.com in Chrome, open the menu, go to Cast, Save, and Share, then tap Install Page as App. You'll get a real desktop app with its own window and dock or taskbar icon.

Either way it opens like a normal app, full-screen, no browser bar.

Heads up: log in to thetenderyears.com in your browser before installing, or you'll be prompted to sign in once when you first open the app.

Still stuck, or something doesn't look right? Email hello@thetenderyears.com. A real person (Hi! It’s Liz!) reads it.

15 how-to entries.