Help & how-tos

Tap the ➕ button on any main tab, or type straight into What's on your mind? on Home.

1. Write the thought the way you'd say it
2. Send. It lands in the right place based on how you phrase it

Prefer to file it yourself? Tap Or sort it yourself to pick:

• Day: a to-do for a specific day, dropped into a time block
• Task: kept until you get to it
• Open tab: something you're still deciding

Yes, two ways.

Inside the app: tap the ➕ button, or Add task in a routine's tasks, then tap the mic on your keyboard and talk. Your words land in the box, so you can check them before you send. Said a few things at once from the ➕ button? Tap Sort them instead and they get split up.

• No mic on your iPhone keyboard? Settings → General → Keyboard → Enable Dictation

Without opening the app, on iPhone: set up the Siri Shortcut from Settings. Then you speak the thought the way you'd say it to a person and it's captured, no typing, no unlocking.

Go a step further and wire it to a physical trigger, so capturing out loud becomes a reflex: say it mid-task and put your phone away.

• Action Button: iPhone Settings → Action Button → Shortcut → pick the Tender Years shortcut
• Back Tap (double-tap the back of your phone): iPhone Settings → Accessibility → Touch → Back Tap

On Android: there's no true hands-free trigger yet, but you can get most of the way there:

1. Long-press the Tender Years icon on your home screen
2. Tap Quick Capture
3. Hit the mic button on your keyboard and speak instead of type

It reads the time cues in what you write.

• Name a day or time and it lands on that day: "return library books Thursday evening"
• Write "by Friday" and it's held with that in mind, coming back sooner as Friday nears
• No time cue ("email the pediatrician") and it lands in Tasks for this month
• A question ("switch pediatricians?") lands in Open Tabs

If something lands wrong, you can move it anytime; and when a day-to-do mistakenly lands as a task, the toast offers a one-tap Change. Nothing is stuck where it fell.

Yes. The daycare email, the birthday invite, the list of what to bring to the appointment: instead of retyping it, hand over the picture.

1. Tap ➕, then Add from a screenshot, and pick the image from your photos
2. It reads what's in there and shows you what it found, each item labeled with where it's headed (a day, Tasks, or Open Tabs)
3. Edit a title inline, or tap the × on anything you don't want
4. Tap Add to my week

If the picture has a list of things to bring, that comes along as a checklist.

Yes: Settings → Smart Sort. Paste the note, the list, the whole brain dump that's been living in your notes app, and it sorts everything into tasks and open tabs.

For small to-dos that belong to a day: defrost the chicken, set out clothes.

1. Tap ➕ and pick Day
2. Name it
3. Pick the day and a time block

It lands on that day in that block and clears when the day's done.

Tending adds to your day too: pick a day on a card and its next step lands there, linked back to the task, so checking it off records the progress.

For the things that shape a day, like birthday parties, swim lessons, or a road trip:

1. On Today, use the arrows at the top to go to the day it's on
2. Tap Add Event, then name it and pick the block it sits in
3. Add a start and end time if it has one, and it'll span the blocks it runs through so the day reads true
4. Add a checklist, so the prep lives with the event (bring the pool bag, the specific clothing item, etc.)

Where this goes further than a calendar entry: the to-dos leading up to it. A calendar tells you about the road trip on the day you leave. But the car service, the rooftop box, and the kids' bags all have to happen before then, and until they do, you're the one holding them. Next to each checklist item, pick the day it needs doing, up to two weeks ahead. It lands on that day as a to-do, labeled with the event it's for, so "Pack the kids' bags" on Friday still reads as part of Saturday's road trip. Until you tap or drag it into a block, it waits in that day's Not placed yet.

It works for the landing, too. Set an item to Day after (unpack the car, restock the diaper bag, return the rooftop box) and it lands on the next day, labeled with the event it follows, so getting back and settled isn't one more thing you're holding.

• Swipe all the way right to clear a card; tap Show completed at the bottom to bring one back
• Short swipe left reveals more: Skip and Move on a routine, Edit and Tomorrow on a to-do
• Short swipe right on a routine reveals your partner's name; tap it to hand today's turn over

Routines show up on your day once you've placed them on your week; see "How do I place routines on my days?" below.

Everything is a one-day change; tomorrow goes back to your usual pattern.

When a task stops being someday and becomes Thursday:

1. Open Tend tab → Tasks
2. Tap the calendar icon on the task
3. Pick when: today's time blocks are there to choose from, or any day in the week ahead (on a future day you slot it into a block when you get there)

It lands on that day as its own line, still linked to the task, so checking it off there completes the task. The task then shows a → day chip; tap it to change the day or clear it. It also rests while it waits, staying out of tending until the day you picked.

Open Tend tab → Tasks and tap the task. Under Cadence, pick Monthly, Quarterly, 6 mo, or Annual, then tap Save.

It comes back each time it's due, and checking it off clears just that round.

Every task lives in a routine's list, and Family admin is the one you start with. To give another routine its own list (think Trip planning or Meals):

1. Open Routines and tap the routine to expand it
2. Tap Edit
3. Under On the day, choose Task list, then tap Save

Now it's a choice when you add a task, and it gets its own list on the Tasks page.

Good to know:

• In the Library the routine carries a tasks tag, and View tasks → opens its list
• Checklist and Task list are either/or, so picking one clears the other

A spare few minutes usually gets spent deciding what to do with it. Skip the deciding: tap Got a few minutes? → Tend and it hands you one thing, the most worth-doing item that fits the moment you're in (something quick, at your computer, around the house, out and about).

It draws from everything you've set down:

• Your tasks
• Your open tabs
• Monthly-or-longer routines, when they come due
• Upcoming events worth a heads-up

To-dos already on a day stay on their day and don't nag you here.

On each card, do the small next step it offers, or tap Not yet to name what's in the way. Then:

• Tag it for a better moment (at my computer, out & about, or Discuss with [partner])
• Pick a day to finish it
• Or set it aside with just not today

Anything needed by a certain day comes back sooner as that day gets close.

On the Tend tab, Plan your week is tending with the week ahead in mind: once a week instead of in the margins. Ten quiet minutes, together or async, whatever fits.

Two parts:

1. Anything to talk through together
2. A day-by-day look at the week ahead

The first part starts already filled in. Anything you tagged Discuss with [partner] while tending, all week, is waiting there in one place, so you're not trying to remember what you meant to talk about. Check things off as you go. There's room for notes under Kids, House and Us too, and if a note turns out to hold real to-dos, Sort this files them where they belong.

Then, review what looks different in your week ahead. Someone traveling? Does daycare pickup need to change? Who's on dinner?

1. Open Routines and tap New routine
2. Pull from the core library (bedtime, meals, daycare drop-off, and so on) or write your own
3. Set how often it happens and who owns it: you, your partner, or shared

Monthly-or-longer routines never clutter your week; they come back through tending when they're due. Any routine can also carry a Checklist or a Task list; switch either on from the routine's page in the library.

From Routines, tap Rhythm. Weekday and weekend views group your routines by time block, and each routine shows its schedule in plain words: which days, inside which block, who has it.

Tap a routine to:

• Change any of that
• Move it to another block
• Take it off the week

Unplaced routines wait under In your library, not your week.

This is for daily and weekly routines. A placed routine repeats on that day every week, so leave monthly-or-longer ones off: they come back while you're tending instead (more below).

Yes.

1. Open Routines, tap the routine, and tap Edit
2. Under On the day, choose Checklist
3. Tap Add item for each step: diapers, wipes, spare clothes, sunscreen

The checklist lives on the routine, so it's there to build and reference any time from the Library. Once that routine is part of your weekly rhythm, it shows up on that day and you tap it to tick the steps off; the list resets fresh each day.

Checklist, task list, or to-do?

• Checklist: the steps you repeat and don't want to re-remember
• Task list: the tasks that collect under a routine and wait until you get to them
• To-do: a different thing; it belongs to one day and clears when the day's done

Set recurrence for things that repeat but don't belong to any particular day: change the filters, book the checkup, clean the gutters, or sort the kids' clothing. They'll return when you're tending. So you can be reminded when they're due, and even check out its completion checklist in case you forgot.

• Living in Routines? Add a recurring routine and set the cadence to Monthly, Quarterly, Every 6 mo, Annual
• Living in Tasks? Add the task, then tap it and set the cadence to Monthly, Quarterly, 6 mo, Annual

One real difference: A routine can belong to one of you from the beginning, whereas a task starts unassigned.

Tap Ownership from Routines. Step through each routine and pick who holds it:

• You or your partner
• Shared: together, varies day to day, or you each do your own
• Someday: things you'd like to do but aren't doing yet

A running tally keeps count as you go. Don't see Ownership? Turn on Settings → Rhythm & ownership.

Anything that lands on a day carries a Who?: Me, your partner, or Shared.

1. Tap ➕ and pick Day
2. Name it, then pick the day and time block
3. Under Who?, tap their name

It shows up on that day as theirs, so nobody has to ask who has it. To change it later, short swipe left and tap Edit.

To keep one to yourself: on a to-do you own, flip Only visible to me.

A task is different: it starts unassigned, whoever owns the routine it sits under. To put one on your partner, set its Owner before you send it to a day, or tag it Discuss with [partner].

Tag it the moment it comes up, then forget it. In a Tend session, tap Not yet → Tag it → Discuss with [partner].

The item stays in circulation, just labeled. It isn't handed over and it isn't assigned to them; it's parked until you're both there.

Everything tagged that way is waiting at the top of Plan your week, gathered in one place, so the sit-down opens with the list instead of you trying to remember what you meant to raise. Check things off as you talk.

You can tag from Tasks too: tap the calendar icon on any task and choose Discuss with [partner] instead of a day.

Settings → Invite Partner creates a short code, good for 7 days. Send it however you like; when they sign in and enter it, your two accounts share one household.

They don't set anything up. They step into what you've already built, and see the same Today, routines, tasks and open tabs. The exception is a day to-do you mark Only visible to me, which stays off their day.

Start a Tend session: tap Time to tend (on Home, or at the top of the Tend tab) and it hands you cards one at a time.

1. On any card, tap Not yet → Talk it out
2. Say what's stuck, however messy: even half a thought, or paste the email that's confusing you
3. It reads the knot and hands back the real thing in your way plus one concrete next step. If it reads it wrong, reply and it adjusts
4. When the step fits, select it (tweak the wording if you like), then tag it for a better moment, pick a day, or set it aside with just not today

Set it down anyway; you don't have to know what it is yet.

If it's more of a question than a task (switch pediatricians? worth doing swim lessons?), it lands in Open Tabs: the home for what you're still turning over. Nothing there nags you to decide; it waits, out of your head, until it's clearer.

When you're ready to poke at it, tend it and talk it out.

On iPhone: open thetenderyears.com in Safari, tap Share, then Add to Home Screen.

On Android: open thetenderyears.com in Chrome, tap the menu, then Add to Home screen, then tap Install in the dialog that appears.

On Mac or Windows: open thetenderyears.com in Chrome, open the menu, go to Cast, Save, and Share, then tap Install Page as App. You'll get a real desktop app with its own window and dock or taskbar icon.

Either way it opens like a normal app, full-screen, no browser bar.

Heads up: log in to thetenderyears.com in your browser before installing, or you'll be prompted to sign in once when you first open the app.

Settings → Calendar feed generates a private iCal URL.

1. Pick which routines to include
2. Set a duration for each
3. Subscribe in Apple Calendar, Google Calendar, or anywhere that takes an iCal feed

What flows out:

• A routine flows out only if it's on your week with a set time; library-only routines stay off the calendar
• You can also flip on today's to-dos and one-off events to have them ride along as all-day items
• One-day changes flow through too: skip a routine for a day and it drops off; change its time for a day and it moves
• Owner swaps and block moves don't flow in, and personal items stay off

Heads up: calendars refresh on their own schedule, so updates can take a few hours to appear.

Yes, two ways.

The quick way: if you use a personal AI assistant that you trust, log in to thetenderyears.com right inside it and ask your agent to use Tender Years for you.

The steadier way: connect it once and your assistant can read your household directly, without you opening anything. It's read-only: your assistant can see what's there, and it cannot change or delete anything.

First, ask your assistant to find the Tender Years MCP at https://thetenderyears.com/api/mcp. It will need a key.

Then, get the key:

1. Settings → Connect an assistant
2. Say where you'll use it
3. Generate key. It's shown once, so copy it now

Where the key goes matters. Your assistant should show a Connect button or a separate box for the key, the way Muse and Grokbot do. Paste it there. If it asks you to paste the key into the conversation instead, don't. Ask it to show you where to put the key outside the chat.

A quick check: if you can scroll up and see your key in the conversation, it landed in the chat. Chats are saved, and a key sitting in one works for anyone who sees it. Revoke it in Settings → Connect an assistant and make a new one. It takes a few seconds.

It works in Muse and Grokbot, and in other assistants that can connect with a key. Keys expire after 90 days, and you can revoke one from that same screen whenever you like.

Either way, the point is the same. Because your week, your tasks, and your open tabs are already laid out here (who owns what, when it happens, what's still undecided), your assistant can read that and actually do the next step, like helping you plan your upcoming weekend with the family. Tender Years isn't the one doing the thinking for you; it's the shared context that makes the load legible, so the assistant you already use can pick it up and help without you having to explain your whole life first. Nothing leaves the app on its own: you're the one who connects it and asks.